I love when you become so close with someone that you can see parts of each other in one another and you begin to say the same things and steal lines from one another and have a similar sense of humor and can exchange an inside joke with just a glance you don’t even have to talk because you have such a strong connection with them and you can sit in comfortable silence but also talk for hours it’s really hard to find that kind of compatibility
The problem that needs to be fixed is not kick all the girls out of YA, it’s teach boys that stories featuring female protagonists or written by female authors also apply to them. Boys fall in love. Boys want to be important. Boys have hopes and fears and dreams and ambitions. What boys also have is a sexist society in which they are belittled for “liking girl stuff.” Male is neutral, female is specific.
I heard someone mention that Sarah Rees Brennan’s THE DEMON’S LEXICON would be great for boys, but they’d never read it with that cover. Friends, then the problem is NOT with the book. It’s with the society that’s raising that boy. It’s with the community who inculcated that boy with the idea that he can’t read a book with an attractive guy on the cover.
Here’s how we solve the OMG SO MANY GIRLS IN YA problem: quit treating women like secondary appendages. Quit treating women’s art like it’s a niche, novelty creation only for girls. Quit teaching boys to fear the feminine, quit insisting that it’s a hardship for men to have to relate to anything that doesn’t specifically cater to them.
Because if I can watch Raiders of the Lost Ark and want to grow up to be an archaeologist, there’s no reason at all that a boy shouldn’t be able to read THE DEMON’S LEXICON with its cover on. My friends, sexism doesn’t just hurt women, and our young men’s abysmal rate of attraction to literacy is the proof of it.
If you want to fix the male literary crisis, here’s your solution:
Become a feminist.
OMG THIS THIS THIS THIS!!!!!
Aw fuck yeah!
We’re discussing scent and pheromones and oh my god
LESBIANS CAN LITERALLY DETECT OTHER LESBIANS BY SENSE OF SMELL AND WILL AUTOMATICALLY PREFER THE SCENT OF OTHER LESBIANS
LIKE THERE IS SCIENTIFIC PROOF OF THIS I LOVE IT I LOVE PHEROMONES
This explains gay-dar. It’s not a sense of just knowing it’s the fact that we can fucking smell each other
So can you scent out non-monosexuality, too? Like, bidar and queerdar?
This past weekend (July 11-13), I attended DashCon, the first con exclusively devoted to Tumblr users (although not affiliated with Tumblr). Because of poor management by a staff that was well-intentioned but inexperienced, young, and lacking in resources, the con suffered a couple of major public calamities, including a desperate mid-con plea for emergency cash on their Tumblr site (which they received) that immediately became the target of contempt and ridicule by primarily non-con attendees on Tumblr and other social media sites.
The hostility of this rhetoric often conflated the organizers with the attendees, who were primarily female and queer teens, many of whom were local and attending their first con. The largest concentration of this rhetoric is the Dashcon tag and user reblogs spread it quickly; one early Tumblr post – reblogged over 67,000 times – characterized con-goers as “white kids in flower crowns rioting for the anti-sexualization of women in media while holding panels about homoerotic subtext.” Comments on other social media sites like Jezebel swiftly adopted this derisive tone, describing attendees as “dorks who live in their parents’ basement” or “hormonal teenagers who enjoy drama way too much” in contrast to the “mature” fans on Tumblr “who discuss theories.” Such misinformed and misogynist discourse was accompanied by paternalistic horror about the possible exposure of teenagers to an informational 18+ BDSM panel.
As a counter to this discourse, I want to highlight some of the more productive social and cultural aspects and implications of the con. For attendees, it is a vital safe space for self-expression and community bonding, intellectual engagement, counseling, and social empowerment for attendees. In turn, the implicit discomfort and hostility directed at them reveals how this space threatens social hierarchies regarding, in particular, female sexual pleasure and knowledge, “feminine” cultural production, “mass” tastes, and non-normative sexual/gender identities and practices.
The whole piece is well worth the read.
I want to draw attention to THIS. Dash Con’s management problems were many, HOWEVER the reason it ended up in the spotlight was pure sexism. The first posts criticizing the convention based on half-truths were immediately reblogged with nasty comments about ugh fangirls, dumb teen girls, and their girly flower crowns. If this massive disorganization had happened at a male-dominated con, I firmly believe no one would have noticed or cared much except those people there. But Dash Con was a convention run primarily by women with mostly women as panelists and mostly women as attendees. That meant they were already being castigated as incompetent, frivolous, and “the worst of tumblr” on Friday night before anyone knew any actual facts. Other male-dominated cons would have been given the benefit of the doubt, time to make explanations, and would have been put under less of a microscope. Dash Con is a searing example of the perfectionist tight rope walk that women are expected to do in our screwed up society — make any mistakes and our culture will turn on you to broadcast every mistake. And maybe we’ll just add some totally made-up stuff in there too. Don’t step out of line girls. Leave cons to the boys.
Is there a word for that occasional moment of self-awareness when reading smut, like where your brain accidentally takes one step back and you realize you are reading really descriptive pornography in your pajamas, while it’s light outside, with a box of Wheat Thins tucked under your arm?
I’m, uh, asking for a friend.